I can’t stand to see lovey dovey couples. Mainly because I want a relationship like theirs. He isn’t like that and it’s fucking annoying. Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time with him. I want to be hugged from behind (lol) and I want to post shit about our adventures and what not. We don’t even hold hands publicly. He says he doesn’t like to show any PDA but like, really? Even holding hands?! What? Am I like your friend in public but behind closed doors I’m your girlfriend of 4 years?
But your ex is a different story? He was so in love with her. I saw them together. He did everything that I have always wanted him to do with me. See, that’s one of the reasons why I dislike her. I don’t know her but I know about their relationship. I’m basically so fucking jealous about her.
AHHH I CANT FUCKING STAND THIS. I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP. PLEASE, GOD, HELP ME. HELP ME FIND FHE STRENGTH TO LEAVE HIM. Every time I try to leave, I always run back. Give me a sign.
You’ve had so many “re-do’s”. I’m getting tired of it. I’ve moved on from doing them because I NEED my brain. I have shit to do unlike you. I hate to see you do them because you may not think that they’re not doing anything to your body but they’re doing so much damage. You’re too blind to see that because it’s like you’re addicted.
I’m just pissed because i care so much for you and I’m worried as fuck. I’m worried that it’ll fuck you up bad.
But what do I know?
Do as many as you’d like. I wont be here to nurture you back to health.
I’m doing a “Quote Of The Day” thing now… I hope I stick to it.
"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."- Albert Einstein
There’s no need to impress you. ( a little more about that later)
I’ve been having dreams about being with other people. Damn, I think I’m overthinking my relationship a lot. Especially before I go to bed -_- hence the weird,erotic, yet very nice dreams. It’s not like I plan to dream about things like that, it just happens. If I could have lucid dreams, oh I would do a lot more ;) it’ll be so much fun.
I really need to sleep early. I’ve been sleeping at around 2-3am. That is too late! Considering I have class at 9. Actually, I don’t have class at 9 lol it starts at 11 but still, I have to wake up to do my face! I rarely do my hair for school, I don’t even brush it sometimes.
Ahhh, the feeling of being back on tumblr. Nostalgic.
I’m not afraid to ask him questions even though I know I might come off as a bitch. Just the other day I asked him if we were actually in love or are we just used to each other? He didn’t say anything for a while. I knew I struck something emotional in him. how can the woman I supposedly love, ask me this?! I was curious! I have a 50/50 feeling about our relationship. Blah, 4 years (5 in 8 months) is a really long time. I guess we’ll wait and see. But what am I really waiting for?
The girl I had “loved” is such a bitch and a fake and liar and I HATE HER. I just really liked her because she was my first REAL girlfriend. I loved her swagger and everything but she really has changed. The stories I’ve heard… OMG I cannot begin. She dated my neighbor and while she was dating her, she used her car to go places THEN she cheats on her with two other guys at the same time. Get the fuck out of here. I thought you were a lesbian. She’s disgusting in my eyes.
While I’m on the “girlfriend” topic, let’s talk about my recent ex-girlfriend. Wow. She’s such an amazing person. She has the biggest heart I know and she cares TOO much to the point where she gets hurt emotionally because she’s always being let down and disappointed by everyone. Including me. I’m sorry. I should’ve been there for you. I regret that now. You know the saying,”you’ll never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”? Yeah, that’s how I feel about her. We’ve been talking a lot now and I feel so much closer to her, closer than I have ever been. She’s my best friend. I love and care for her a lot. I hope we can stay like this for a while.