The brother bought some really good IPA after buying my sister some stupid apple earphones that I plan on using haha.
Luckily ——- asked what I was doing. I knew he was going to want to drink some so I brought a bottle over for him. The earliest I’ve ever went to his place. 8:45. We watched two movies and spent some good quality time together. Unfortunately, he’s moving so I won’t be able to keep up this little late night rendezvous much longer.
He knocked out on me on our third movie. I fell asleep for a good 30 minutes before leaving. He wanted me to stay but I knew I should go. I honestly think he was scared because we watched a corny ass creepy movie before he got tired. Lol. He doesn’t like scary movies but I do so he man-ed up and watched it with me. How cute is that? But anyways, I couldn’t stay and I feel bad for waking him up. Ugh.
Fun day with the friends.
Only ate pho today but fuck it, it was good haha. I don’t know how long it has been since I’ve touched meat. Gahhhh. It’s hard being a pescetarian when everyone around you can eat chicken (the only meat I did touch when I was able to).
Fuck relationships. I swear, idk what it was but looking at ——- today while we were on the bed, made me want to blurt out,”I like you.” I don’t even like him like that. I don’t know what’s going on in my head. Why would I ruin a perfect “No strings attached” thing like this? Seriously. Like, when either of us have a problem, we don’t talk it out like I did with diego. We just fuck our problems away then I leave. And whenever I want it, he gives it to me and that makes me happy. I don’t want to feel anything for anyone. I don’t want to be heartbroken ever again. It might seem kind of rude of him not to want to talk about my personal problems but, I know what he’s doing and I know that he doesn’t want to get on that deeper level where we would share our feelings and shit like that. I need this haha. No more feelings. No more heartbreak.
I knew he wouldn’t approve my new friend request so I had to do it the hard way.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. they’re so happy together. FUCK. MOTHER FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK. I hate it.
Closure…That was all I needed. I won’t get it from him for sure so I’m taking this as MY closure. I’m done. It’s done. I’m no longer going to care. Fuck it. FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCKING SHIT. aghhhhh I hate him!!! I hate them. I’m such a hater. Fuck it. Goodbye.
I’m in his bed. Should I stay or should I go home?
I stayed Sunday night because I was super tired.
I’m not tired at all right now and it’s still pretty early… If I go home, I’d see my mom. She and I had an argument earlier today because she found out that I was spending money recklessly. Ugh give it another hour. I’ll see how I feel.
On the plus side, I have another bite mark on my back. Ugh they feel so good ;)
Ah I broke the rule. I slept over at his place. It was nice. I slept surprisingly well with him. He was moving around a lot and it scared me because I thought he was having a nightmare -_____- I suck. Let’s not do this again. I don’t want to come off as “that chick”