So I start on Monday. He and I talked about my schedule. We confirmed that we’d hangout on the weekends. I asked him if he would be able to be patient with me. He said yes. I asked him if he’s going to only be with me even though my schedule conflicts with our little late night booty calls. He kissed me hard and looked away. I raised my voice and asked even louder. He laughed and said yes and kissed me once more. Gosh, what a relief. How adorable.
I saw Diego yesterday with HER. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. I hate him but I won’t let him know that. I want to keep him and like him but hate him at the same time. I’m so confusing.
Saw my ex-bestfriend earlier today. I was at my neighbor’s house when suddenly I see her dog run into the house. I knew she was there. I had my back turned to her the whole night. I didn’t even want to look at her. I had to leave. When I was at my friend’s house, she messaged me and told me that she and her boyfriend are going to be moving back to San Diego and asked if I wanted to be friends or not talk at all like we did today. I told her that I wouldn’t be going to my neighbor’s house anymore so there’s no need to speak to each other or become friends. “I’m good”
Diego and I were texting a lot last night. It felt really good to hear from him. I walked around my block about 5 times because I was so into our convo.
——- and I are becoming closer. We started fucking with each other about a month ago and I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t catch feelings. I’ve caught some. SOME. I don’t know what to do.
My ex texted me today. That was a surprise. I didn’t feel like texting anyone once I got home. I wanted to go to bed and just fucking die. I kind of gave her the cold shoulder. I can’t stay sober. I have to have a little alcohol to end the night. It’s becoming a habit so I’m going to stop soon.
He has me smiling non stop. I’m at it again. I’m catching feelings like crazy.
I’m on my period and he’s well aware of it. Yesterday, he asked me to come over and bring the IPA bottle I had saved for him for about two days. I thought that that was all he wanted. That IPA bottle and some head. I mean, why else would he want me to come over? I still went over anyways just to see if my theory was correct. I saw him outside on his apartment bench. He scooted over to make room for me. I was actually nervous sitting next to him! We hadn’t seen each other for two days—the longest we’ve been without seeing each other since we started talking..which was a month ago. Well anyways, he looked over at me and gave me this gorgeous smile and kissed me. I swear, his smile can make me, and I bet any girl, melt. We talked about our weekend and whatnot while he smoked his last bowl. Once we got to his room, I placed my lanyard and jacket in my usual spot and handed him the IPA. I crawled on the bed and watched him open the bottle and take a sip. American Dad was on. We literally cuddled and talked the whole night. I told him I had missed him. I was regretting it immediately after it came out my mouth. He said it back but I totally think he said it out of guilt. He’s an amazing person. I don’t want what we have to end anytime soon.